Newsletter - November 2005

Dear Friends:

We said good bye to my Dad last month. We had not expected that he would be gone so soon. He was 79 years old, but his health had been good and we anticipated many more years with him. God knew better and took him home, but what was so amazing to me was how God worked through the good bye process and how He gave special grace at each step of the way.

My Dad’s last ten days were spent in the intensive care unit of our local hospital. He had already had open heart surgery this summer, had been recovering beautifully, and was even playing tennis again on a limited basis. But my Mom called me on October 2 to report that he was having chest pain and shortness of breath. Those symptoms were concerning enough that my husband (who is a retired physician) insisted that we take a trip to the hospital.

Dad was admitted and late in the evening the next day doctors determined that the heart was malfunctioning to the point where they needed to insert a balloon pump. The pump would help the heart to keep going while they waited a couple of days for the blood thinning medications to work their way out of his system. After that, they could perform open heart surgery to try to determine and rectify the cause of his problems. While waiting for the surgeons to come in for the emergency procedure and for us to arrive back at the hospital from home, he talked to his nurse, Peter.

“Are you a Christian?” Dad asked.

Peter responded, “Yes,” and offered to read Scripture and pray with my Dad.

When they concluded, Dad said, “That was nice, but what I really meant was, ‘Are you a true believer? Do you know that you will go to heaven when you die?’”

Peter was deeply touched. When he recounted the story to me, he said that in all his years of nursing, he had been able to minister to many people, but this was the first time that a patient turned the tables on him and became the minister to him. “Here he was in crisis,” Peter said to me, “and your Dad was more concerned about my salvation than he was about his own surgery!”

The balloon pump insertion was successful and, after a two day waiting period, Dad was taken in for his second open heart surgery in two months. It did not go well. The surgeons (three of them by then) spent nearly ten hours operating, testing, and trying to get the blood to flow through the heart. Finally, at the end of their own resources, the entire surgical team stopped doing anything physical and chose, instead to do something spiritual: They held hands and prayed that God would give them wisdom. The sense that they received as they prayed was that they had done all that should be done and they should close him up. They did just that.

Every day we spent with him, we hoped that this would be the day he turned the corner and began to recover. But, instead, each day he seemed to get weaker. He continued on the balloon pump, on kidney dialysis, and on a respirator. Doctors were giving him all kinds of blood pressure medications and blood transfusions. There was a tube down his throat so he was not able to talk, but he communicated by nodding and shaking his head and he “talked” with his eyes and his eyebrows. After a few days, we were sadly told by one of the surgeons that Dad would not survive in spite of all the measures that were being taken to keep him alive and help him to build strength.

Because so many of our friends were praying we, as a family, felt surrounded by God’s grace. We simply knew that God was in charge of the entire process: intervention, decisions, timing of his passing, interaction with family, and prevention of pain. We cared, we grieved, we said our tearful good byes, but, all the while, we trusted God.

On the fifth day following surgery, we knew he was leaving us. We had read scripture to him that day and he had responded with raised eyebrows. We had talked to him, touched him, and loved him. He was not in pain nor did he ever show an anxious moment. God was surrounding him with love and grace as He prepared His child to come home.

At about 6:30 on that day, several of us were at his side and quietly helped the angels usher him into the arms of Jesus. He left us as he lived: With tranquility, confidence, and gentleness of spirit.

My Dad’s physical heart had weakened and eventually quit, but his heart for God and for serving Him has never failed. The memorial service was held on a picture perfect fall day – again, God’s gift of grace to us. There were brightly colored trees, 60-plus degree temperatures, and blue skies. The congregational hymn we chose was “To God Be the Glory”, a perfect send off for Dad. God’s glory was the true desire of his heart for all of his life.

What have I learned from all of this?

Life is short. Dad was here and healthy one day and then sick and leaving us a few days later. How did it happen so quickly? I realize that for me, too, there will be an end to life as I now know it. That reminder motivates me to live each day to the full and to the honor of our God.

Dying is a part of living. With God in charge, dying was a quiet, loving process. I pray that my leaving will be as filled with confidence and peace.

Life goes on. Our lives have changed, but they continue. My brothers and I miss our father, my Mother misses her husband, our kids miss their grandfather, but we adjust and we continue. That is as God would have it to be. And for Dad, too, life goes on; but, for him, it is a life that we on this side of eternity can only imagine. I am so happy for him!

Paul reminds us of God’s greater plan with these words:

“The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power. It is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body.” (I Corinthians 15:42b-44)

Thanks for letting me share these thoughts with you and please have a purpose-filled, praise-filled, and wonder-filled November. Live every moment of the life God has given!

Blessings!

Bev

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