Newsletter - March 2005

Dear Friends:

Are you preoccupied with how you look? If so, your focus is in keeping with the majority of men and women who live in this country. Maybe deep down we all wonder if our lives would be different if we looked better. That may be why a program like Extreme Makeover is so popular, not just for viewing but for doing. A plastic surgeon in our area was asked if Extreme Makeover had affected his practice. He responded by saying that the show had caused three explosions in his business:

• An explosion in the number of people who come in for consultations,
• An explosion in the number of procedures each patient wants done, and
• An explosion in the expectations of the outcome once the procedures are completed.

He is beginning to feel like he needs to be a miracle worker! Face it – we are obsessed with appearances – especially our own!

I have been struck with a recent insight that I want to pass on to you to alleviate all this suffering you go through about how you look. Are you ready? Here it is: No onenotices. Now, if you go out and gain 30 pounds, they will notice and will probably have a few thoughts like, “Sure am glad it’s not me,” but a pound here and there or water retention from the Chinese food you had last night will not send the tongues to wagging. No one notices. Why? They are thinking about how they look, and what YOU think. You are NOT the focus of their attention. Most likely each person in your office, at a meeting, at church, or at a social event is the focus of his/her own attention. So we can stop obsessing!

Let’s try a new tack instead. Here are some suggestions for re-focusing attention on things that matter more than appearances:

1. Change focus. You can be the life of the party if you start focusing on what everyone else is already focusing on: themselves. Find three people to tell how great they look. You will automatically be more attractive in their eyes because they will immediately be overwhelmed with an irresistible liking of you. Now that you have their attention, you can ask questions about work, family, travel, current events, and reading. Listen to their answers and respond accordingly. Before you know it, you are involved in a conversation that is interesting to both of you – or maybe a whole crowd by now – and you are not thinking about how good or bad you look. For one brief, shining moment, the people you talk to may forget about how they look, too. Just think of the favor you will have done for mankind!

2. Dig in. Another thing I would advise is that when you are eating in public, for heaven’s sake, EAT. Don’t just pick at your food like you are a sparrow or something and then go home and devour a bag of cookies. When you are in a social setting, eat wisely, but with enthusiasm. I remember going out to eat with a woman one time and she ordered crab legs. She cracked them, dipped them, dripped them, and enjoyed them to the fullest possible limits. I admired her willingness to lose face over crab legs. She was relishing life and that enjoyment made her fun to be around. I am not saying that you have to ruin every diet by overindulging socially, but at least don’t spurn all the good stuff. When you get home, control yourself and work off or starve off the extra calories you may have taken in, but enjoy the camaraderie of shared food when you are invited to an event. Learn how to celebrate. Remember, God ordained seven feasts for the Israelites – real parties! Food, spirits, and all! He wants us to enjoy the lives He has given.

3. Smile. My husband told me that a smile takes five years off my face. Now you know why people think I am the happiest woman in the world. I smile a lot. I will do anything to erase five years and, fortunately, it seems to be as simple as smiling. Try it. It will do the same for you.

4. Adopt an attitude. Choose an attitude, a new one, which says (and believes) that all this body image preoccupation is distracting to the real issues of life: significant relationships, optimum health, productive activities, and spiritual development. Focusing on these areas of true significance will bring you joy, peace, and contentment. Weight control and obsessing over appearance never will. We all get to choose.

And while we are thinking of those real issues in life, what does God say about appearance, about our bodies, and about what pleases Him most? Throughout scripture we are told that our physical bodies and the material world around us are temporary. God is far more interested in our hearts than our bodies - our commitment to Him and the degree to which we become more like Jesus as we grow older.

When Saul was crowned as the first King of Israel, the people were so proud of him. He was a full head taller than anyone at the celebration and he was handsome, too! But Saul did not have a heart to follow God and eventually his arrogance led to his downfall. The prophet Samuel was sent out to anoint the second king of Israel and was told to find him among the sons of Jesse. One-by-one Jesse’s sons passed by Samuel. When he saw Eliab, he was sure this was the one, but here was God’s reply to Samuel’s inquiry, “Looks aren’t everything. Don’t be impressed with his looks and stature. I’ve already eliminated him. God judges persons differently than humans do. Men and women look at the face; God looks into the heart” (I Samuel 16:7 The Message).

Finally, David, the youngest and smallest son of Jesse, was brought before Samuel (they actually had to go out to get him from the pastures where he was tending sheep – this is a real Cinderella story!) and he became the next king of Israel and led God’s people for 40 years. From shepherd boy to king – not because he was strong or handsome or buff, but because he had a heart that connected with God.

How’s your heart? If you are honoring God with your life, it’s beautiful. If it is filled with love for God and His children, it is totally attractive. If it seeks justice and mercy in this world as God does, it’s drop-dead gorgeous! If your heart is bent toward knowing and following God, you are in the process of Extreme Makeover – internal and eternal – where it really counts!

Blessings to you who are in process!

Bev

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