Newsletter - July 2005

Dear Friends:

I saw a television news report a couple of weeks ago concerning a man who was about to be sentenced after being convicted of murder. The mother of the young woman who was killed had asked for the opportunity to address the judge prior to sentencing. She spoke of her pain and of the damage to her family caused by this man’s hateful crime. She went on to ask that the judge sentence him to the maximum penalty. She felt hurt and betrayed and she wanted justice. From every human perspective, I think we would agree that she had the right to ask for it.

But then I read an account in our local newspaper about a jeweler in nearby Grand Rapids who was attacked and robbed in his store. He was choked, his legs were kicked out from under him, and he was forced to the floor. As he lay there and the robber ransacked his store, the article quotes him as saying, “We’re Christians, please don’t hurt us. Jesus loves you, too.”

About a month later, the store owner received a letter from the thief who, by then, was incarcerated in a nearby prison. The letter read, in part, as follows, “I remember you saying, ‘We’re Christians. Don’t hurt us, please’. At that moment, my heart sank into my belly for I knew God’s wrath would fall on me sometime soon.” In his letter, the robber said that he did not want the victim to talk to prosecutors or the judge on his behalf. He just wanted to be forgiven.

The jewelry store owner told the reporter that, even before he received the letter, he already had forgiven the man who had attacked him. “I believe in forgiveness. I think the reason people go around with so much hurt in their lives is because they haven’t forgiven.”

We sometimes have an internal sense of justice which says something like this:

• We should not be required to forgive.
• Not everyone deserves to be forgiven.
• We should not be called upon to forgive the unforgivable.
• Forgiveness is too hard.
• We cannot be expected to act as if nothing has happened.

These are understandable objections to the idea of forgiveness, but not one of them holds up in the light of the teaching of God’s Word.

For many of us, a situation or person comes immediately to mind when we hear about the subject of forgiveness. We know we should forgive, but for the life of us, we cannot figure out how. Here are a few thoughts that may help:

Forgiveness does not minimize the action of the offender. If the jewelry store owner had said, “Well, it wasn’t really that bad. He didn’t take everything, and at least he didn’t kill me,” his forgiveness would have been hollow. In order to truly forgive, he had to acknowledge how offensive it was for the man to enter his store with a desire to harm and to steal; how wrong it was for the man to choke him, kick him, and force him to the floor; and how terrible it was for the man to take what was not his. Until we see the reality of the awfulness of what has been done to us, we cannot truly forgive. Often the first step we have to take toward forgiveness is to stop denying the degree to which we have been hurt and the seriousness of the offense against us. Get it out, look at it, accept it as terrible, then ask God for the grace to forgive.

Forgiveness does not release the offender from responsibility. The store owner forgave the robber, but that forgiveness did not take away the man’s responsibility. The verdict was still “guilty” in the eyes of the law. Forgiveness did not take away the price to be paid. Nor did forgiveness put the thief in right standing with God. The only way for the guilt to be taken away was for the offender to go to God and seek His forgiveness. Psalm 32:5 says, “Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord’ – and you forgave the guilt of my sin.” We are not able to offer that kind of forgiveness to one another. Only God can take away guilt.

Forgiveness stops the cycle of hatred and opens new pathways of loving acceptance. When we are hurt, we have two very natural inclinations. The first might be to hide or to put up walls in order to protect ourselves from further pain. But that action does not heal our hurt and, instead, keeps us from entering fully into any relationship because we are afraid to be vulnerable and open. We become the victims of our own unforgiving spirit. The second might be to seek revenge. If someone hurts us, we want to hurt him back. That is natural, but it is not godly, nor is it productive.

We can be free from cowering self-protection when we forgive the one who has hurt us and accept the healing touch of the Holy Spirit. Then we trust that God will give us discernment and protection as we enter lovingly and fully into relationships. Also, we can be free of a vengeful spirit when we forgive and allow God to be in charge of the consequences of another’s actions against us.

Christian apologist Ravi Zacharias tells the story of getting to know a Muslim sheik during some time he recently spent in Jerusalem. There was mutual respect between the two men even though they knew there were great differences in their cultures and, most particularly, in their religious beliefs. At the conclusion of their time together, Ravi, thinking of the seemingly insoluble problems of violence and unrest in the Middle East, addressed the sheik reminding him of the story of Abraham being asked to offer his son on the altar (Although the Muslims believe it was Ishmael who was offered and not Isaac, they do count this story as part of their religious history). The sheik nodded in acknowledgment.

Ravi said, “Do you remember that as Abraham was about to plunge the knife into his son’s chest, he was stopped and told by God, ‘I Myself will provide the lamb’? Sheik, 2000 years ago God provided His Son and at that time the blade did not stop. Until you receive the Son He provided for you, you will continue to offer your sons in sacrifice.” He went on to remind the sheik of the culture surrounding them in which wrongs are committed and revenge then required. It is a never ending cycle of ever increasing violence, killing, and hatred.

Then he explained that Jesus changed all that. When people nailed Him to a cross, He chose not to be vengeful; instead, He forgave them. His forgiveness has stopped the cycle of hurt and revenge, betrayal and hatred. Because of Jesus, we can love and live at peace.

That’s what forgiveness does.

July is a month when we celebrate freedom. Maybe as we think of political and social freedoms, we should also spend some time thinking about whether there is an unforgiving spirit from which we need to be freed. Is there some forgiving we need to do? We are never more joyful that when we are free of anger, grudges, and bitterness and are filled, instead, with the love of God. Let’s not settle for anything less!

Joy and blessings,

Bev

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